Month: August 2021

There are a lot of things I don’t know how to do. The thing is, there one thing I’m very good at — learning what I want to know. As I’ve said, I don’t know much about cars and mechanical processes other than the basic theories. But, I want to learn. And Mona — Mona is a great place to start.

After speaking with Mr. Mechanical about the accelerator pump, he said it might be the power valve giving me some issues as well. The thing is — I’d need to pull the carb to fix it.

My heart stopped.

Pull the carb?

Fuck me.

So, for a few days, i mulled it over. After all, Mona had sat for 15 years, and that’s not good on gaskets, and who knows what’s been living inside that unit during that time. It just makes sense — rebuild the carb, Bjorn, just do it.

I watched some YouTubes. I read the Chilton’s. I even watched Destin from Smarter Every Day explain how carbs work and then go to the Holley factory and find out he was only kinda right. The carb rebuild videos helped and gave me confidence that I could do it — especially since I could have the video open while working and go step by step.

Right?

So, last Friday, I call the local o’parts store (LO’PS) and order the parts I need — rebuild kit, accelerator pump, accelerator pump spring, and a new gas filter. I was told it would all be in on Saturday by 8 a.m.

Saturday

I go through my Saturday morning routine — brush my teeth, meds, coffee, comics, etc. Few more YouTube videos to screw up the courage. Then get all dolled up and get the Ginger Goon’s harness on him because the LO’PS stores in town are dog friendly, and head out to the store. Before I left, I made sure to spray down the connections on the carb because I knew they’d be all messed up from years of sitting.

I should mention … there are three LO’PS in Grand Forks and East Grand Forks — and I didn’t order from the EGF store. So, I head to the store I thought I’d called the day before, only to find out that … nope, I had called the other store.

Dammit.

So, we get back in the car and head to the other store.

I should interject that I’m both excited and scared shitless at this point. I’m looking forward to digging into my Motorcraft 2100 two barrel beast. It’s going to be exciting. It’s not going to work and I’ll have to back up and redo stuff.

I.

Don’t.

Care.

I’m gonna be learning and doing! Whoot! Yeah, baby! I’ll be able to lean against Mona’s fender and say “Yeah, the carb was a mess, but, I rebuilt it.” I was even practicing the various humble brags I’d use.

Unless, of course, the person I chatted with at LO’PS on Friday didn’t put the order in. Which is what happened to me.

Okay, that’s not quite true. The pack of accelerator return springs came in. There’s a dozen of them. I need 1. I might need another in the future, but for some reason, I can only get a dozen at a time. But, nothing else came in.

*sigh*

I reordered it the parts, and they’ll be in tomorrow (Tuesday).

Dejected, I take the Ginger Goon and we help back to Bjornheim (my home, don’chaknow). And I think — I can still pull the carb today and get my work station ready. I put the dog on his cable, turn on the radio, grab some wrenches and sockets and open up Mona’s hood.

Gas line — ooooh, baby, she comes off easy.

Vacuum lines — takes a bit, but I work them off as well. So far, so good.

Nuts off the studs and do one more check — oh, shit — forgot the throttle and cruise control linkages. Cruise comes off easily — but…hmmm…the throttle link?

Okay, I’ll come back to that.

I try to lift the carb, and it doesn’t budge. I check — nope…all the nuts are off. Try again…still not moving.

…the fuck…?

I move around to the driver’s side … everything looks disconnected there except that damn throttle cable — but c’mon, it’s flexible…look in behind…nothing there…over to the drinker’s side and do a test lift…

Ah, hell. I forgot to disconnect the choke! Spray it down and let it sit for a bit, and then, break it free. So far, so good — haven’t damaged any of the fittings! Whoot!. And when I go to lift it, it comes right off the studs.

But, I still need to contend with the damn throttle linkage.

I grab the Chilton’s to see what they have to say. It’s a very concise, precise statement: “Disconnect the throttle linkage.”

Right. I know that. But how the ever-loving-fuck do you do that?

Remember — I’m not a stupid person. I know that there has to be something I’m missing. But, I sit there for almost an hour and can’t figure it out.

I even tried holding my tongue about 17,053 different ways.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

I put the dog in the back yard, then head into the house and start looking for videos on how to disconnect this type of linkage, and after about 20 different videos that had the EXACT type of connector I was dealing with. I start it, and just as he gets to that point, a flash card pops up stating that the next 15 minutes of video were corrupted, and the next thing ya know, he’s got the carb on the table…

That’s when I decided I’d had enough and went out and got the work station set up. While I was doing that, I decided “Tomorrow — if I can’t figure this out, I’m taking pictures and sending them to Mr. Mechanical for guidance.”

Sunday

Armed with a cup of coffee and a new attitude, I headed back out to Mona. I looked at the connection while sipping my coffee, and picked up a straight blade screwdriver and pushed against the connecter…

And it popped right off.

Now, if you saw me at that point in time, you woulda seen me laughing my ass off. I pulled the carb out, took some pictures, then looked back and saw there was a plate on the manifold. I took it off, and noticed that one of the corners had broke right off. Well, shit. I took more pictures, then took everything into the garage and sprayed a bit of carb and choke cleaner on it and set it aside until the parts came in.

However …

There was still work to be done.

With the hound on his tether, I pulled out the tools and set to finishing off Trixie the Trailer’s end gates as well scraping out the top of the trailer. The end gates went together pretty easy — 2×4’s for the uprights, 1x4s and 1x6s for the slats. Cut, measure, align, screw, and boom goes the dynamite! And everything fits.

Now, since I pulled the top, I’ve gone back and forth over what to do with it. Keep it for a cover? Scrap it? Repurpose? The more I looked at it, the more I decided I realllllly didn’t want it. I grabbed the Sawz All, a new blade, and a full battery, and with eye and ear protection in place, started lopping pieces off of it.

It was all sorts of fun, I tell ya!

Until suddenly, the saw stopped.

It was a tab bit warm. Well, warm really doesn’t describe it…I coulda cooked eggs with it. I set it to the side, picked up the scraps and tossed them into Trixie, and went through a bunch of the other stuff that needed to be put away or tossed out. By the time that was done, the saw had cooled down enough for me to finish up the sawing.

With that, I took a few more pictures, packed up, and came inside.

While I was looking at everything after, I realized that the rain we had late last week had perked up the grass and I was thinking — “it could use a mowing.”

And when the lawn guys showed up today, I was happy I got all that stuff picked up and put away.

The next step now — pick up the stuff from LO’PS and sit down at the work station and figure out if I can actually do a carb rebuild. Now, I’m at a new level of calm, so it should go well.

And, as always…pictures below.

This really all started when the Joke Squad took a day trip to Fargo back in late May or early June so Dakota Bones could pick up the bike he was having worked on. Also along for the ride were Not Blake Shelton (NBS), FC, and me. It was one of those day trips where everything was funny (to us), and we did some exploring, some shopping, and some day drinking. ‘Cuz, yanno….it’s Fargo….

At some point, I mentioned that I was looking for a 3- or 4-wheeler for getting around out at the hunting camp, and that I just couldn’t find one I liked. That’s when NBS said “Really? My in-laws have one they’re trying to sell.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a Honda Big Red.”

“……..what year?”

“’84.”

“200?”

“250.” (It actually IS a 200, but, NBS made an honest mistake.)

“…………………………..”

“He’s speechless. “

“How much are they asking?”

“I have to ask.”

Jump ahead a few weeks, and I get a text with pictures. “They’re asking $*&!* monies for it.” Much like with Mona, I took a few days to mull it over. The main issue I had was no way to haul it around. So — I went in search of a trailer.

And did I ever find one. Heavy duty, homemade, and the size I was looking for, and best of all — in the price range. I contacted the guy, went and looked it over, and bought it.

Here’s the first problem. It’s a 6 ft by 8 ft trailer and the bed was enclosed with steel plate. Not only was it heavy as all hell, but it caught even the lightest breezes like a sail.

I live in North Dakota — we don’t get ‘light breezes.’

When I got home, I decided to strip the extra steel and take the cap off of it. That’s when I found out just how heavy those sheets were. Holy mother of God … I almost ruptured myself when I took the front panel off. The hardest part, though, was getting the cap off. The support posts were rusted in and I had figure out how to break them free. So, I packed a pipe, sat down on a folding chair, and thought … “What would Dad do?” I accessed the tools I had on hand and built my plan.

1. Pull the trailer under the big tree in my front yard and get it under the biggest branch I could find.
2. Get my heaviest ratchet strap and toss it over the branch (easier said then done).
3. Attach the strap to the cap and get the slack out.
4. Then…a set of Pony bar clamps reset to be spreaders instead of clamps to work like a jack.

I put the jacks at each corner and opened them as much as possible, then worked the ratchet. Lather, rinse, repeat. But, little by little, the cap started to rise up. Of the eight supports, three popped loose, four stayed with the trailer, and one stayed with the cap. Thankfully, I just picked up a Sawzall and cut the offending posts out (after trying a whole bunch of methods to get them out that just didn’t work).

After that — I cleaned her up and was amazed at the amount of surface rust. Since the plan is to take her to some pretty nasty spots, I decided a painting was in order. I also ran new wiring and installed new lights, and got around to painting with rattle can spray paint. I added d-ring tie downs to the deck, and new safety chains.

Now, this is going to be used for hunting, and it’s a utility cart, and as such, I decided on using flat paints — or as I like to say, it’s cammie-oh-flaged (or will be when all is said and done). As of right now, the exterior has a base coat and once I get the interior done, I’ll start the shadow coat.

This past weekend, I got the end gates built and installed, and until I get get to the salvage yard to get rid of the scrap steel, I’m kinda at a stand still. It’s just too heavy for Abigail to pull. After that’s done, I’m building two gear chests that will be mountable in the bed — and if I do it right, I’ll be able to easily pull them when I need the extra space. After that — really — the only thing left besides the painting will be figuring out a set of ramps to get Wendi up and down.

So, here’s the transformation of Trixie in picture form.

My main goal with Mona is getting her running so I can take her on adventures. Right now, that includes work on the carb, electrical system, seats, tires, and the tailgate. Some of these tasks are ones I have some comfort in doing, and the others, I’ll need to call in help. More on the lifelines as I go through the plans. I’m going to go through them in reverse order.

Problem: The tailgate. Right now, the window crank is gone and the crank mechanism is kaput. I put a socket on the stud the handle connects to and turned it and nothing happened. Not only that, but the latch to open the tailgate is currently rusted shut.
—Plan of action: After searching for a week, I found a replacement crank mechanism on the Team Grand Wrangler website — and it arrived today. Depending on the weather tomorrow, I’ll pull the tailgate access panel which will get me to both the crank and latch. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to juice all the fasteners up and let them sit for a bit. Hopefully I can get the latch to come back because I haven’t been able to find a replacement for that yet.
–I also need to get in there with the vacuum because holy hell was it a mess! (See the pictures below). Thankfully I didn’t find anything scandalous, like, you know, desiccated body parts. But, yeah — it’s a big, big mess. Anyone have a wet/dry vac I can borrow?

Problem: Tires. The tires are okay, but they’re old and have a few flat spots. I also want something with a bit more of an aggressive tread — nothing too violent as I still want to take her on the highway, but something to get through the mud and snow.
—Plan of action: I’m searching through different websites right now and think I have a few options. But, until I can drive her, I really don’t want to jack her up and pull the wheels in the driveway as the driveway slopes enough to make me a bit nervous. Not really worried about this problem right now.

Problem: Seats. The front seats are done worn out. The backs are also a bit short so I’d like a new style. The back seat, a fold and tumble seat, has rotted covering and the foam is mouse eaten.
—Plan of action: The front seats have me a bit nervous when it comes to figuring out what to get — fitment, what brackets are needed, etc. Thankfully, I know a body guy who I’ll be getting in contact with soon.
— The backseat is an easier fix. The frame and springs are in good shape, though, so I’m going to get a few quotes to get it redone.

Problem: Electrical system. As she currently sits, Mona only has high beams. Wipers work, but the windshield washer pump doesn’t. Blower motor doesn’t work. Cigarette lighter is out as well.
—Plan of action: I’m going to run some jumpers to the blower and washer pump and see if they go when they’re hotwired. If I need to, I’ll swap them out. Same with the cigarette lighter. Before I do anything, though, I’m going to check the fuses and the body grounds to make sure they’re all in good shape. From there, trace the wires to look for rodent damage.
–With the blower, I’ll also test the resistor, switch, and relay. Thank you, Chilton’s manual.

Problem: The carburetor. Right now, to get her to run, I have to feed her all of the onions, at which point, she surges and dies. Now, part of that might be the accelerator pump, but, in chatting with Mr. Mechanical,* he said it might also be the power valve. Oh, and when I pulled the accelerator pump, I disconnected the cam from the linkage, and now, I gotta figure out how to get those two mated back up.
—Plan of action: This is the part that makes me nervous. I mean, I’ve already messed up twice with the accelerator pump in that I initially got the incorrect part and then disconnected the damn linkage. *grumble grumble* However, Mr. Mechanical reassures me that with a little patience, perhaps a few profanities, and finding the correct position to hold my tongue, I should be able to get things reconnected.
–The power valve is a little more intimidating as it involves pulling the carb off the manifold. I mean, Kevin from Junkyard Digs and Luke from Thunderhead 289 both make it look easy — but they have been doing it for a long, long time, and Mr. Mechanical doesn’t make house calls to Grand Forks. So…I might wait for a weekend when The Mechanic* can come over and lead me through the steps. Then again — I might just jump in with both feet…
–I will be replacing the fuel filter and possible the lines soon.

So, the plans are in place. And I’m going to take it slow and steady. I’m good with that.

*Mr. Mechanical and The Mechanic are two different people — Mr. Mechanical is a friend dating back to the late 70’s, and The Mechanic is my nephew-by-choice. I might just have to change the name of one of them…

And as promised — the last round of pictures …

I met and feel in love with Crystal in late 1995, and we were married in late September ’96. We were pretty much broke because I was in grad school and she had a hard time finding a job, and because of this, my family helped us out with giving us some basic furniture. One piece was a waterfall bed from the mid 30’s. One of my sisters found it at a garage sale, and honestly, we loved it.

And then, in April of ’97, the flood hit Grand Forks, and our building downtown was one of those that burned. As we were evacuating, Crys said “what if it burns?” I scoffed and said “Burn? Pfffffffffffft! It’s a flood!”

Let me just say that it was the first of many times she made prophetic statements.

During the recovery, we searched high and low for a replacement bed (along with everything else), but we kept hitting this dilemma — what we liked, we couldn’t afford, and what we could afford, we didn’t like. We settled on a bed — it broke. Found a second bed — it broke. Then, we ended up with a futon. It wasn’t bad, but, yanno…after a while…it was a futon.

About two years after Crys died, I was looking at the futon and thought “I’m an adult. I need a real bed.” And I went on the hunt again and found the same damn thing.

Well, fuck.

So, I’m talking to a buddy at work and say “ya know. It’s not like I couldn’t make my own bed. I just down have some of the tools I need.”

“Like what?”

“Mainly — a table saw.”

Turns out — he had a table saw. And over the next few weeks, I built my bed.

I’d never built a bed before, and if I were to do it again, there’s a bunch of things I’d do differently. Regardless, I did it and I’m very happy with it. I used skills I learned from my father, a carpenter and woodworker, as well as from high school shop classes. I’ve built other things as well, a process I enjoy immensely, and with each project, I try to up my skills by trying a new process.

When it comes to cars, though, my abilities are limited. I can change oil, spark plugs, belts, and have installed stereos and such. The magic that happens inside carburetors and internal combustion engines — in theory, I understand the process, but putting the theory to practice is what I want to learn.

I figured I’d start with something easy — the accelerator pump. Mona sat for 15 years, takes a bit of work to start, and the day I picked her up, surged and died. From watching Vice Grip Garage and Junkyard Digs on YouTube, I knew this is often a part that fails when a vehicle sits idle too long. So, I watched a few YouTube videos and thought “yeah, that’s pretty simple,” and I went on-line and found a local store that had the part in stock. Better yet — it was a store I could bring Rastmus, my ginger goon — I’ll write more about him in a future post.

We jumped into Abigail and run over to the store and get the pump and a few other pieces, then to Lowe’s to get a few things there, and finally, home.

…and that’s when I learned a valuable lesson…

If you are working on a classic vehicle and you really don’t know what you’re doing, take the part you want replaced with you to the auto parts store. Why? Because sometimes, the computer thinks you need the pump with the rectangle rubber flange where what you REALLY need is the square rubber flange.

Knowing and doing was more like trying and failing.

I called the store and told them what I needed and they had to order it in, so I switched to another job — trying to get the back glass down and the tailgate open, only to learn the crank mechanism is busted and the tailgate latch is rusted up tight. It also didn’t help that it was in the mid-90’s outside and even hotter in the back of Mona with no air moving.

Thankfully, the heat broke today and tomorrow, I finally have time to get to the store to get the pump. Before I go, though, I have a few other things to check. I want to be able to just make one parts run a weekend.

We’ll see how that goes. Heh.

Knowing. And Doing.

Since I was a kid, there have been vehicles I’ve wanted — vehicles that just kinda fit me and what I like and love to do. I’m not a racer or a mudder or anything like that — but I do like to go places that are seldom traveled. On my list I’ve had:

• International Scout and Scout II
• Early Bronco — 1st and 2nd Gen
• 1st Gen Chevy Blazer
• Chevy Apache
• Late 60’s Dodge Power Wagon
• Willy’s Overland
• 1948-1955 Willy’s Pickup
• 1963-1980 Jeep Wagoneer
• 1970’s Jeep Cherokee or Cherokee Chief

These have been my dreams for a number of reasons — 4 wheel drive, attitude, and something I might be able to work on myself.

But, see, here’s the thing — right now, I have very limited mechanical abilities. It’s not that I’m not handy, but my experiences are centered around working with wood. I can do some fun things with wood, and what I can’t do, I can figure out fairly easily. And since I consider myself a life-long learner and advocate for those types of experiences, I decided it was time to push myself.

That list above were my ‘wants.’ Learning, for me, is a need. I crave it. I have a need to be in the uncomfortable area of not quite knowing what I’m doing, making mistakes and figuring it out, and in the end, the adrenalin rush of success. Early this summer, I got the opportunity to buy another dream vehicle — a 1984 Honda 200 Big Red three-wheeler is excellent condition! I’ve been looking for a UTV for a long time, and this one — well, it’s pretty close to the one we had on the farm when I was way, way younger than I am now. This left me in a bit of a conundrum — I needed a way to haul the wheeler around. I had a truck, Big Blue — a 1992 Dodge 250 3/4 ton — but it had a heavy duty towing package and even driving down a smooth road, it rode hard. The bouncing around in the cab made me hurt for days after. My car, Abigail — a 2005 Cadillac Sedan Deville — can pull a trailer, but it’s limited on where it can go. I mean — do you really wanna drive a Caddy on a minimum maintenance road? The best thing about it is that I had a buyer for the Dodge and I’ve just been waiting for the right moment.

That moment came a little over two weeks ago. I’ve been searching on-line for a replacement for Big Blue and I found her — a 1976 Mojave white over firecracker red Jeep Cherokee — runs, drives, stops, and in my price range! I sent the seller a message and yup, she was still available. We set up an appointment to meet up two days later.

I met the seller after he got off work, and we walked deep into a Quonset hut. She was parked at the far end, and though she took a bit to get started, we got her out and took her for a drive. Now, she’s a bit rough — as Derek from Vice Grip Garage likes to say “she has some speed reduction holes.” The tires were old and had a few flat spots. Her firecracker red paint is a bit faded — but none of that mattered.

She was beautiful.

No, she IS beautiful.

I told the seller I needed a few days to think about it and made a mental list of what would have to be done. I did a bunch of research, talked myself into the purchase…talked myself out of the purchase…in and out…in and out…until, I decided that since my nephew Tyler, who is buying Big Blue and coming with a trailer to pick him up on Saturday and who happens to be a mechanic, I’d have him look over the Jeep and tell me what he thought.

I love when I can make a decision like that.

Saturday arrives, and we pile into Tyler’s truck (along with his girlfriend Abby, brother J. D., and Ithaca the puppy, and go look over the Jeep. It didn’t take long until money was changing hands and I became the fourth owner of Mona.

But………

Mona would start, then die. Over and over again. Hmmmmm….

Talked with Tyler about options, and we decided to head back to my place and get the trailer and bring Mona home that way. And that’s where she is now — in my driveway.

So, I fulfilled a want that has some needs to it.

• Figure out why she won’t stay running;
• New tires;
• New windshield;
• New seats;
• Tailgate is frozen with rust;
• The tailgate window assemble doesn’t work (ordered a new one!)
• Blower motor, cigarette lighter, low beams, and windshield washer pump currently not working;
• Radio

Those are all in the short term and should be done in the next few weeks — well, except for the seats. Those I’m evaluating my options on. After that, I’ll start addressing the body issues and the rest of the interior.

This blog will serve as my journal into getting Mona up and running. I’ll be taking pictures of the progress and processes, and I might be asking for help at times…but right now…I’m damned happy with what I have. Hell, I was even offered a good chunk of change the other day for her. I just smiled and said “Nah. She’s mine.”